A Tip From Craig
by Tweek Tweekers
Summary: When someone annoying won't leave you alone then there is one easy thing to do...


Have you ever been in a situation where people won't leave you alone? I have. I actually happen to get into those situations a lot but I've learned how to stop them quickly. Never use words, it could lead to a fight, that involves more talking and putting to much effort into one conversation. Instead give them a small, strong, harsh, gesture.

The middle finger.

This may start a fight but not a verbal one. You simply pissed off the person that was annoying you, so they usually storm away, maybe cuss a little but at least they go away.

You don't believe me? Well that's sad because I know for a fact this works. No matter who the person is, they will take this small gesture very offensively and will be mad at you. They'll expect an apology, but don't ever give them one. Once they realized that your not going to apologize, they'll forget all about it. Trust me.

Still don't believe me? Why don't I give you a few examples of some situations that happened to me before.

We all know Miss. Bebe Bitch Stevens. Well this little tramp expects every guy to fall for her uncanny charm. I never did and I never will. So one day she comes walking up to me…

"Hey, Craigy." she giggled and started playing with the string on my hat. I continued to walk and barely focused on her. She wouldn't give up easily though, she just kept on talking. "You know, there is this dance coming up. I was just wondering…" she strolled off and smiled, "You know."

I cocked a brow at her. Maybe I would find it flattering if Bebe wasn't a complete tease, flirt, whore, slut, etc, etc. I knew for a fact she didn't really like me, she was simply going through another crush phase. One week she'll like the smart kid, Kyle. The next week she likes the jock, Clyde. Now it's her week to like the rebel, me.

Don't confuse me with some cocky asshole like Eric Cartman. I'm not proud to call myself a rebel. Actually to be perfectly honest I wouldn't even use that term to describe me. I think I'm normal but everyone seems to think I'm some trouble-maker because I get sent to Mr. Mackey's office a lot. This is why I get sent to the office a lot…

BAM the middle finger. Surprise, surprise.

Bebe gasped, "Asshole!"

Oh and look at that she stormed off angrily.

Do you believe me now? NO! Well…I can't blame you, Bebe can be a bit of an overdramatic drama queen. Well let me give you another example…

"Yo!" well that's when an overly obnoxious Clyde came over to me. He punched my arm in a greeting way. Since when is punching someone's arm considered a greeting you ask? Well you know faggy wannabe cool kids today…anyways here's how the conversation went…

"Yeah me and Bebe were getting real hot last night!" he began bragging for I don't know how long, I zoned out quickly. I can say that when he meant 'getting real hot' he actually meant, 'I was sweating because Bebe made me run around the mall all night buying shoes.'

As he continued to talk and talk and talk and well yeah, I eventually got really annoyed. So…

BAM! Finger yet again.

"Aw fuck you dude!" and he left to go talk to someone else, most likely Token.

I'm guessing you still don't believe me. Yeah I guess I should give you a reference about someone who isn't a complete drama queen and my best friend. I know, the time Wendy came up to me…

"Hey Craig! I think you should vote me for your class president because I am-" blah blah blah…then I broke out the finger.

She scoffed and went over to someone else.

Or how about when Eric Cartman tried to get me to join in with one of his schemes, "We're gonna make so much money you guys!" he began, "So Craig in order for the plan to work you have to sneak into the teacher's lounge and steal the test answers for our math quiz and-"

Middle finger snapshot.

"Mother fucker…" he paused, "Fine! Butters you can do it instead."

Still don't believe me? Well ask anyone, I did it to Stan when he was criticizing my football techniques, I did it when Kyle told me to stop complaining about the Peru incident which sucked soooo much, I did it to Kenny when he tried to get money off me, I did it when Token was gloating about his new I-pod, I did it to Tweek when he wouldn't shut up with his conspiracy theories.

So if someone is seriously bugging the shit out of you then just flip them the bird.

Oh by the way if you do it too much then it tends to lose it's effect on people…


End file.
